he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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