i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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