Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
