He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
