Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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