babies were throwing up all over the place
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
