So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
