i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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