I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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