I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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