I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
