my mouth tastes like poor choices
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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