Christians are straight up FREAKS
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
