At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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