It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she peed on how many people?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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