we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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