why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
jump out the window naked night went bad
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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