The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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