OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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