guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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