we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
