Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
