I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They have beer where we have blood.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
