I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So much rum. So many feels.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
