What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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