my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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