that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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