i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
