Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
