At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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