Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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