1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
