I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
