so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
