Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
