that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
