What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
