I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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