You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
