Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
