People in love make me want to vomit
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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