Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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