whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
