My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
