i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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