I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
