How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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