Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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