A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
