its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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