I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
