That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
