I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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