i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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